For the girls and the women.
And for the sour assholes that seem to feel
offended whenever I post a sentence with, for example, the following words in
it: feminism, multitasking, women, strength, childbirth, barricades, bra,
driver, car, male-politics, male-politicians, envy….
Keep smiling you all, it will keep you fit and
friendly.
Because I'm a man:
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the
car, I will
fiddle
with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
>
______________________________________________
>
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running
very well,
I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as
if I know what
I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of
us will say
to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these
things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I
wouldn't know
where to start.' We will then drink a couple of
beers and
break wind, as a form of holy communion.
> _______________________________________________
>
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need
someone
to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie
in bed and
moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I
do, so
for you, this is no problem.
> _______________________________________________
>
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to
purchase basic
groceries at the store, like beer, milk or
bread. I cannot be
expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or
'tofu.' For all I
know, these are the same thing.
> _______________________________________________
>
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances
stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart,
despite evidence that
this will just cost me twice as much once the
repair person
gets here and has to put it back together.
>
_______________________________________________
>
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television
remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the
thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for
it.....though
one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator.....
( applies to engineers mainly).
>
_______________________________________________
>
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me
what I'm
thinking about. The true answer is always either
sex, cars,
sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something
else when
you ask, so don't ask.
>
_______________________________________________
>
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your
mother, or
have your mother come visit us, or talk to her
when she
calls, or think about her any more than I have
to. Whatever
you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't
need to see it.
And don't forget to pick up something for my
mother, too.
>
_______________________________________________
>
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I
liked the
movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end
of it, I didn't
...and if you are feeling amorous
afterwards....then I will
certainly at least remember the name and
recommend it to
others.
> _______________________________________________
>
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing
is fine. I
thought what you were wearing five minutes ago
was fine,
too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt
or without it,
looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go
now?
>
_______________________________________________
>
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the
year 2015, I
will share equally in the housework. You just do
the laundry,
the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and
the dishes,
and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering around
in the garden
with a beer wondering what to do.
>
This has been a public service message for women
to
better understand men.
Thanks to Janet Izod, for reminding us.
Gavi Mensch
Maastricht, 7-6-2015
.
